Let’s just say it: making friends as an adult is very difficult.
Here’s the kicker: research backs this up.
- According to a 2021 study by the Survey Center on American Life, 15% of men said they had no close friends. That number was just 3% in 1990.
- And the number of men with at least six close friends dropped by half over the last 30 years.
- A 2023 Pew Research survey found that nearly 40% of men say they’re dissatisfied with their friendships—and a big chunk of those men aren’t sure how to change that.
In other words: the struggle is real, and it’s more common than most of us admit.
So What Happened?
When we’re younger, friendship is built into our lives. School, sports, dorm rooms, late-night pizza runs—everything is designed for connection. You don’t have to try. You just show up. It is easy to find people who have the same interests and who you see often.
But adult life? Different story.
Work gets demanding. People move around to different neighborhoods/cities/countries. Many interactions have shifted online, making real-life connections feel less organic and more difficult to establish. As an adult guy, where do you go to meet new people outside of work (if you even have in person coworkers) to create new social connections?
Also? Many guys never learned how to initiate deep, platonic connection outside of shared activities like sports or school. We’re taught to be independent, self-sufficient, low-maintenance. Which sounds fine… until it leaves you feeling isolated.
The Loneliness You Don’t Talk About
Let’s be real: loneliness isn’t something guys are usually encouraged to talk about. But it’s everywhere.
Loneliness doesn’t always look like total isolation. Sometimes it’s subtle:
- Scrolling your contacts and realizing you don’t know who to text.
- Going through your week on autopilot, wondering when you last had a real conversation.
- Wondering if everyone else has it figured out—or if they’re just better at hiding the loneliness.
- Missing the kind of conversations that go beyond “What do you do?”
Friendship isn’t just a luxury. It’s fundamental. Strong friendships are linked to better mental health, longer life expectancy, and lower stress levels. No, really—Harvard’s 85-year-long study on happiness found that close relationships are the #1 predictor of life satisfaction.
So What Goes Into Creating New Friendships?
According to research by Mel Robbins and others, there are four key ingredients that make adult friendships actually stick: age, interests, proximity, and repetition. In simple terms? We tend to become friends with people who are in a similar life stage, who like the same stuff, who live nearby, and who we see regularly.
That’s it. Sounds obvious, but modern life often works against these factors—especially for men. We move cities, our schedules get packed, and we rarely get repeated face time with people outside of work or family.
This is where The Deli comes in.
How Do We Help?
The Deli is built around these exact principles: helping you meet friends in your area, with shared interests, in groups that meet consistently. Because real friendship doesn’t just need chemistry—it needs structure.
We know that making friends as an adult takes intention. That’s why we’re building spaces that help men connect
Small group chats, real-life meetups, meaningful conversation. No awkward networking vibes, no forced fun. Just real people.
Because yeah, adult friendship is hard—but it shouldn’t be impossible.
And you don’t have to figure it out alone.